The loss of a relationship if often a most difficult and distressing time.
There is much excitement in meeting someone new and forming a relationship. Dreams of a future together are soon entertained including a home together often with children.
For any number of reasons relationships can end. Often poor and unfair treatment leads to much heartache before a partner walks away. Frequently discoveries are made during or after the relationship ends of lies and deceit including infidelity. Being deceived is a most ‘stomach-turning’ and base violation of trust and goodwill that is brought into a relationship.
You may not be given the opportunity of an explanation, the need to understand why? You may not be given the opportunity to really say what might be tearing at you inside – to offload your anger. On ongoing trail of resentment can be left with frustration, and other ‘baggage’ that can interfere with your daily life. Such resentment is on top of the grief of losing someone to share your life with, leaving you with just memories and lost dreams of a future together.
You may also be disappointed or angry with yourself, for what you might have done to upset the relationship, for the same old unhelpful patterns that you keep rolling-out and acting. You may be upset with yourself for being gullible and trusting.
Carrying grief and baggage can detract from your ability to form new relationships. THE UNSENT LETTER can be helpful to offload, reduce, and close-out these issues.
Entering into a marital contract signifies a more substantial commitment, and a deeper level expectation of a life together and dreams coming true. These dreams would have been unfolding, often a home together, children, holidays and special times spent together. A life planned-out as one grows older.
Your partner is cemented into relationships with your family and friends, and how you identify yourself as married in the world.
It is not unusual for difficulties and conflict to develop, and such can go on for years as partners’ search to rekindle what brought them together in the first place. If love fades, one or both partners may struggle to find reasons to remain together.
It is not uncommon that a partner strays, – to be deceitful. This violates the marital contract. When uncovered, these acts can lead to dissolving the marriage.
In other situations a partner is abused, either physically or emotionally. This can go on for years before a partner can separate themselves from the situation, having to work through complex issues and values before having the strength to say enough is enough!
Not only does a divorce create a highly stressful adjustment phase, but it can be devastating emotionally with enormous loss and grief including sadness, anger, frustration, resentment. It can leave a yearning for the lost marriage and grief at losing the plans of a marital future. A void is left that is filled only with tears.
THE UNSENT LETTER, along with professional counselling, can help a person move through, adjust, come-to-terms with and accept what is. In accepting reality, we think less about the past and what could have been.